Ozan Ozgur

— 21.04.2008, 17:27:51

Ozan Ozgur

I was just here. I left  just a while ago. When you asked for me I was drinking tea. There were hundreds of ideas wandering on my mind, which I could not name and  have forgotten all now. I was not contemplating leaving. Before you looked for me, I was here, all by myself. I was sitting in this corner, in this chair, at this table. This cup of tea, half drunk, was mine. This still smoking cigarette, the poem I have considered writing all my life long… and  the hundreds of details I have forgotten; they were all here. Maybe, they all would have been here before you looked for me. I would not have gone, had I known you would be looking for me.     I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I am sorry for having left without saying goodbye to you. I, alongside with me, brought falling rain, children wet in the rain, glittering, future hopes in the children, love scattered in love, young girls and boys having been drifted in love and having forgotten where the rest of life lies and lost their best dreams between the thick city walls. And swallows, daisies, love words…. Look!  They were just here, I mean just before you asked.I was just here. I was at the foot of a mountain, on the bank of a river, in the eyes of that gazelle going into the distance. I was telling your story to the fish, maybe hundreds of times, but each time I had to tell them the same story again and again. I was cold, my heart was shivering, my lips were bleeding with the shame of not having written the poem which I had contemplated writing all my life but postponed writting each time. My heart, my heart was bleeding, bleeding like the eyes of a maid with tuberculosis. Nobody knew.I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I had thought that there would be somebody who would notice me, wave me goodbye and say “ How good it would have been if he had not gone”. My eyes were smiling…… but how they were smiling! Actually, nobody was waving, and mourning for my going, nor sheding a couple of tears behind me. The lovers were not strolling hand in hand, young girls were not getting wet in the rain on their  way back from school. Nobody was walking through the paths, nobody was telling stories to the children.I was just here. It was me who was getting drifted in the storm. These hands touching your hair were mine. I was listening to the song of solitude. My eyes were looking to the distance. Sometimes I was spending the night in an inn and sometimes in a deserted hotel room. But I was here all the time. I was listening to my heart beating gently. I was listening to you. But you were not here. At the times, when I needed you, when I longed for you, when I did not have anybody else other than you to go, you were not here. Everytime I called you you were busy with very important affairs.  I was giving thoughts to this and you were gradually disappearing. You were not aware of my bleeding heart at a distance. My hands were again clamped together like this, I was again playing with my fingers. I was just here. I left  just a while ago. Before you came, I mean.

— 21.04.2008, 17:21:56

Ozan Ozgur

I was just here. I left  just a while ago. When you asked for me I was drinking tea. There were hundreds of ideas wandering on my mind, which I could not name and  have forgotten all now. I was not contemplating leaving. Before you looked for me, I was here, all by myself. I was sitting in this corner, in this chair, at this table. This cup of tea, half drunk, was mine. This still smoking cigarette, the poem I have considered writing all my life long… and  the hundreds of details I have forgotten; they were all here. Maybe, they all would have been here before you looked for me. I would not have gone, had I known you would be looking for me.     I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I am sorry for having left without saying goodbye to you. I, alongside with me, brought falling rain, children wet in the rain, glittering, future hopes in the children, love scattered in love, young girls and boys having been drifted in love and having forgotten where the rest of life lies and lost their best dreams between the thick city walls. And swallows, daisies, love words…. Look!  They were just here, I mean just before you asked.I was just here. I was at the foot of a mountain, on the bank of a river, in the eyes of that gazelle going into the distance. I was telling your story to the fish, maybe hundreds of times, but each time I had to tell them the same story again and again. I was cold, my heart was shivering, my lips were bleeding with the shame of not having written the poem which I had contemplated writing all my life but postponed writting each time. My heart, my heart was bleeding, bleeding like the eyes of a maid with tuberculosis. Nobody knew.I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I had thought that there would be somebody who would notice me, wave me goodbye and say “ How good it would have been if he had not gone”. My eyes were smiling…… but how they were smiling! Actually, nobody was waving, and mourning for my going, nor sheding a couple of tears behind me. The lovers were not strolling hand in hand, young girls were not getting wet in the rain on their  way back from school. Nobody was walking through the paths, nobody was telling stories to the children.I was just here. It was me who was getting drifted in the storm. These hands touching your hair were mine. I was listening to the song of solitude. My eyes were looking to the distance. Sometimes I was spending the night in an inn and sometimes in a deserted hotel room. But I was here all the time. I was listening to my heart beating gently. I was listening to you. But you were not here.At the times, when I needed you, when I longed for you, when I did not have anybody else other than you to go, you were not here. Everytime I called you you were busy with very important affairs.  I was giving thoughts to this and you were gradually disappearing. You were not aware of my bleeding heart at a distance. My hands were again clamped together like this, I was again playing with my fingers. I was just here. I left  just a while ago. Before you came, I mean.

— 21.04.2008, 17:20:39

Ozan Ozgur

I was just here. I left  just a while ago. When you asked for me I was drinking tea. There were hundreds of ideas wandering on my mind, which I could not name and  have forgotten all now. I was not contemplating leaving. Before you looked for me, I was here, all by myself. I was sitting in this corner, in this chair, at this table. This cup of tea, half drunk, was mine. This still smoking cigarette, the poem I have considered writing all my life long… and  the hundreds of details I have forgotten; they were all here. Maybe, they all would have been here before you looked for me. I would not have gone, had I known you would be looking for me.     I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I am sorry for having left without saying goodbye to you. I, alongside with me, brought falling rain, children wet in the rain, glittering, future hopes in the children, love scattered in love, young girls and boys having been drifted in love and having forgotten where the rest of life lies and lost their best dreams between the thick city walls. And swallows, daisies, love words…. Look!  They were just here, I mean just before you asked.I was just here. I was at the foot of a mountain, on the bank of a river, in the eyes of that gazelle going into the distance. I was telling your story to the fish, maybe hundreds of times, but each time I had to tell them the same story again and again. I was cold, my heart was shivering, my lips were bleeding with the shame of not having written the poem which I had contemplated writing all my life but postponed writting each time. My heart, my heart was bleeding, bleeding like the eyes of a maid with tuberculosis. Nobody knew.I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I had thought that there would be somebody who would notice me, wave me goodbye and say “ How good it would have been if he had not gone”. My eyes were smiling…… but how they were smiling! Actually, nobody was waving, and mourning for my going, nor sheding a couple of tears behind me. The lovers were not strolling hand in hand, young girls were not getting wet in the rain on their  way back from school. Nobody was walking through the paths, nobody was telling stories to the children.I was just here. It was me who was getting drifted in the storm. These hands touching your hair were mine. I was listening to the song of solitude. My eyes were looking to the distance. Sometimes I was spending the night in an inn and sometimes in a deserted hotel room. But I was here all the time. I was listening to my heart beating gently. I was listening to you. But you were not here.At the times, when I needed you, when I longed for you, when I did not have anybody else other than you to go, you were not here. Everytime I called you you were busy with very important affairs.  I was giving thoughts to this and you were gradually disappearing. You were not aware of my bleeding heart at a distance. My hands were again clamped together like this, I was again playing with my fingers. I was just here. I left  just a while ago. Before you came, I mean.

— 21.04.2008, 17:19:37

Ozan Ozgur

I was just here. I left  just a while ago. When you asked for me I was drinking tea. There were hundreds of ideas wandering on my mind, which I could not name and  have forgotten all now. I was not contemplating leaving. Before you looked for me, I was here, all by myself. I was sitting in this corner, in this chair, at this table. This cup of tea, half drunk, was mine. This still smoking cigarette, the poem I have considered writing all my life long… and  the hundreds of details I have forgotten; they were all here. Maybe, they all would have been here before you looked for me. I would not have gone, had I known you would be looking for me.     I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I am sorry for having left without saying goodbye to you. I, alongside with me, brought falling rain, children wet in the rain, glittering, future hopes in the children, love scattered in love, young girls and boys having been drifted in love and having forgotten where the rest of life lies and lost their best dreams between the thick city walls. And swallows, daisies, love words…. Look!  They were just here, I mean just before you asked. I was just here. I was at the foot of a mountain, on the bank of a river, in the eyes of that gazelle going into the distance. I was telling your story to the fish, maybe hundreds of times, but each time I had to tell them the same story again and again. I was cold, my heart was shivering, my lips were bleeding with the shame of not having written the poem which I had contemplated writing all my life but postponed writting each time. My heart, my heart was bleeding, bleeding like the eyes of a maid with tuberculosis. Nobody knew.I was just here. I left  just a while ago.  I had thought that there would be somebody who would notice me, wave me goodbye and say “ How good it would have been if he had not gone”. My eyes were smiling…… but how they were smiling! Actually, nobody was waving, and mourning for my going, nor sheding a couple of tears behind me. The lovers were not strolling hand in hand, young girls were not getting wet in the rain on their  way back from school. Nobody was walking through the paths, nobody was telling stories to the children.I was just here. It was me who was getting drifted in the storm. These hands touching your hair were mine. I was listening to the song of solitude. My eyes were looking to the distance. Sometimes I was spending the night in an inn and sometimes in a deserted hotel room. But I was here all the time. I was listening to my heart beating gently. I was listening to you. But you were not here. At the times, when I needed you, when I longed for you, when I did not have anybody else other than you to go, you were not here. Everytime I called you you were busy with very important affairs.  I was giving thoughts to this and you were gradually disappearing. You were not aware of my bleeding heart at a distance. My hands were again clamped together like this, I was again playing with my fingers. I was just here. I left  just a while ago. Before you came, I mean.

— 21.04.2008, 17:18:27