How tall are you, private? - Sir, five-foot-nine, sir. - Five-foot-nine, I didn\'t know they stacked shit that high!

— 15.10.2006, 15:49:19

...

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

— 15.10.2006, 15:48:40

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

— 15.10.2006, 15:48:40

...

Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps? - Sir, I don't know, sir! - You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe you don't know left from right? - Sir, no, sir! - Then you did that on purpose! You wanna be different!

— 15.10.2006, 15:47:14

Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps? - Sir, I don\'t know, sir! - You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe you don\'t know left from right? - Sir, no, sir! - Then you did that on purpose! You wanna be different!

— 15.10.2006, 15:47:14

...

Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that don't you?

— 15.10.2006, 15:45:52

Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that don\'t you?

— 15.10.2006, 15:45:52

...

Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored his platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES

— 15.10.2006, 15:44:36

Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored his platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people, have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES

— 15.10.2006, 15:44:36

...

What's your name fat-body? - Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir. - Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia? - Sir, No, sir. - That name sounds like royalty are you royalty? - Sir, No, sir. - Do you suck dicks? - Sir, No, sir. - Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose. - Sir, No, sir. - I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.

— 15.10.2006, 15:42:51

What\'s your name fat-body? - Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir. - Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia? - Sir, No, sir. - That name sounds like royalty are you royalty? - Sir, No, sir. - Do you suck dicks? - Sir, No, sir. - Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose. - Sir, No, sir. - I don\'t like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you\'re Gomer Pyle.

— 15.10.2006, 15:42:51

...

Did your parents have any children that lived? - Sir, yes, sir. - I'll bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

— 15.10.2006, 15:40:28

Did your parents have any children that lived? - Sir, yes, sir. - I\'ll bet they regret that. You\'re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

— 15.10.2006, 15:40:28

...

Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!

— 15.10.2006, 15:36:49

Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama\'s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!

— 15.10.2006, 15:36:49

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

— 12.06.2006, 23:06:04

- You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. - Would someone mind telling me, who are you? - And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"...

— 8.04.2006, 22:36:02

[looks at the caravan] - Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We'll need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me. - Why me? - Well, you know about caravans. - How's that? - You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price. - What's wrong with this one? [Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges] - Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tiptop. I'm just not sure about the colour...

— 13.03.2006, 13:16:43

- Tony. - What? - Look in the dog. - What do you mean, "Look in the dog"? - I mean open him up. - It's not a fucking tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

— 13.03.2006, 12:22:55

- He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone? - 'course I am... [reverses into parked van] - A natural fucking idiot..

— 13.03.2006, 12:20:10

- I didn't see it there. - It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts, is it? - It was at a funny angle. [All three turn and look back at the truck] - It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come at you from behind.

— 13.03.2006, 12:16:27

- So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls. - These are your last words, so make them a prayer. - Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. The fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off.

— 13.03.2006, 12:09:20

Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON

— 13.03.2006, 12:06:57

- Fuck me, hold tight. What's that? - It's me belt, Turkish. - No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers? - It's for protection. - Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

— 13.03.2006, 12:05:32

Do you have anything to declare, sir? Yeah. Don't go to England.

— 12.03.2006, 22:59:13